I could not possibly remember or count the many times I’ve heard this. Sometimes if I’m being transparent it feels so empty and quite overused. But what else do you say when a loved one has passed? We all want to encourage, or be encouraged and feel some ounce of betterment. We feel the immense sorrow when someone we’ve lost dies. What should we reply when someone says “I’m sorry”? do we just say it’s ok? or nothing at all? After all it is an expression of sympathy. We offer our compassion and concern. We are showing that we care. But what if we changed the script.? What if we expressed our concern by saying My deepest sympathy, or I’m sending you love, prayers, comfort during this time…I’m thinking of you, and I’m here. We struggle to find the right words. Everyone’s journey through grief is so unique. It’s ok to be short and simple. It’s so hard to see our loved ones suffering, and in the grips of a loss. I’m sorry is not wrong. It just simply doesn’t cover what are brutal emotions give us. Good intentions can make “robotic statements” seem less authentic. My hope in this is that we allow ourselves to respond better if you will to offer genuine support.
So very true and ultimately there really are no words…..
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Responses to grief are so tense and uncomfortable. The initial response can bring a variance of emotions from the griever based on who is attempting the sentiment. None of us will ever get it right. Yet, we hope just being present and needed will somehow suffice.
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