A Mother’s Love Never Dies

 

Good morning. A mother’s love never dies. There is a spiritual umbilical cord between a mother and a child that can never be broken as my friend Robin once told me.  Some days my spirit can be so heavy. There are never any expectations when it comes to grief. No particular pattern.  Even on days which seem to be ordinary days, meaning (no holiday’s or anniversaries) my hurt may heart.  I remember walking into Target the first time after Eliyah passed. I felt like everyone in the store was staring at me. I wondered if they knew what has just happened in my life, but of course they didn’t.   I  realized after a while that I was going up and down each aisle not really looking for anything in particular. All I could see or think about were the memories of what he’d say to me when we walked in.      ” You know where I’ll be ” Yep, I said, and he’d be headed to the electronic section of the store.   But not anymore….. I found myself in the cereal section. I saw his favorite cereal, Honey bunches of Oats! I burst into tears. I stood there uncontrollably crying. I thought to myself I hope no one calls management on me. I’m not crazy, I’m sad.  I will be o.k. but not today.  I exited out of that section and realized everywhere I go because of my love for him this may happen. Reminders, smells, voices, even people who may look like him.  You can’t turn back the hands of time, and each day requires that you move one step forward. One step at a time.. Sometimes, when grief has hit I take a step back. but that’s ok. God understands and it will not always feel like it does at that moment.  My prayer for today is for God’s will to be done in my life, and in yours.

 

#Hellomychild