Recently I have had friends who have experienced deep loss with a loved one. It always makes me think about those that I have had in my life that is no longer here. Specifically Eliyah. With my youngest daughter approaching her high school graduation in just a few weeks, I can’t help put to reflect on the years that have gone by. She was seven years old when Eliyah died. (By the way I still detest saying those words) I prefer the day Eliyah went to Heaven. Anyway, back to my thoughts. She is now 18 and an adult. Almost ready to embark on this thing called life on her own. I could tell you briefly about that fateful morning. She slept through the chaos of it all. I had to think about the best way to tell her what had happened and to also keep her from coming downstairs because his body was on the floor after the paramedics left. I remember so much from that morning, and yet there is much I want to forget. She went to sleep having a brother to laugh with, and give piggy back rides to waking up to the worst news possible.
I’ve never been afraid of change, and God only knows, I’ve had many changes in my lifetime. No one has a guarantee to an easy life. Accomplishing anything great in life requires significant change that pushes you beyond the comfort zone.. And then there’s the uninvited change, as with the day Eliyah went to Heaven, which brought and still brings from time to time incredible pain. I think of the things I ask for you know like maybe a new kitchen, or maybe redesigning your home.. things of that nature. The invited change. But a sudden departure from this earth is not only uninvited, but it’s also unwelcomed. That’s the way i see it.
I’m still being pushed beyond my “comfort zone” and it brings with it just a bit of anxiety at times. I’m getting older and still have so more to learn, more to do. I do my best not to focus on my disappointments or failures. Nothing is wasted in life. Keep striving and pushing towards success in life. I have some really wonderful people in my life that don’t allow me to sit at the pity train depot, but encourage me, even when I’d rather cry for a looooooooong while instead. And don’t get me wrong, there are proper times for the cleansing cry. But to take a seat and just stay stuck? I do not have that luxury nor time.
What I always must go to is the word of God. One of his wonderful attributes is that in Malachi 3:6 it says, “I am the Lord, I change not. He remains the same. In fact it is us who must change to be more like him. The scripture means I can trust him. It brings great comfort to know this. Listen, I love that this also means that he cannot fail to keep his promises. Change occurs always in many ways in our lives but to know that with all the changes in this life, those that I have experienced and those that will still happen, I can rely on him who remains unchangeable in a world of uninvited change and that I think is pretty awesome.